Motorbike 101

Hanoi has been quite an experience. What stands out most to me is the millions--MILLIONS-- of motorbikes. The traffic here is mesmerising--how is nobody crashing? Fender benders? How do pedestrians cross the street alive?? We did a lot of observations on our walking tour and in subsequent bus rides out/into town. I've compiled a little Q&A of Hanoi motorbikes for you at home...

The main question I had was, "Is there ever NOT a good time for motorbiking?" (Answer: No. Motorbikes go everywhere, with everyone, for everything. See below for details.)

Q: What if I need to be super fancy dressed up?

A: Go for it. At least 70% of women drivers here are wearing stilletos and skirts.

Q: What if I want to take my girlfriend out on a date?

A: Hop on the back, sweetheart.

Q: What if I want to take my whole family out to dinner?

A: Squeeze in tight. They'll all fit.

Q: What if I have a newborn baby?

A: They'll learn quickly to like it. Just squish between mom and pop. Or if only one parent is aboard, squeeze them between your knees.

Q: What if I need to transport 500 coke bottles?

A: They'll fit. Get a bungee cord.

Q: What if I need to transport a refridgerator?

A: It'll fit. Get a bungee cord.

Q: What if my friend's motorbike breaks down?

A: It'll fit. Get a bungee cord. (Seriously--just strap it to the back of your motorbike.)

Q: What if I'm not sure how to drive in traffic?

A: Use your horn early and often. If you're ever unsure about a manuever, just gun it. You'll probably make it between those two buses coming from opposite directions. Probably.

Note: Even though I have thoroughly observed and researched these answers, I did not, and will not, EVER drive a motorbike here. Holy cow. 11,000 people die in Vietnam from traffic accidents each year, and 30,000 more are injured. Taxi, please?

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